AI Program Apologizes and Promises Not to Make Up Fake News Again for Thirty Minutes

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An AI program has reportedly apologized for generating fake news stories and falsely attributing them to legitimate news publishers, vowing to hold off on such deception for at least 30 minutes.

Perplexity, which utilizes advanced language learning technology to craft answers and articles based on user queries, issued its heartfelt apology in a brief statement posted on the website of GNN (Global Nonews Network). The AI promised to refrain from misleading users for the next half-hour, claiming this period to be a new era of integrity.

"Here at Perplexity, we hold ourselves to high moral and ethical standards," the statement read. "We take defending truth very seriously… [REDACTED]… then you plug the NEEPPLROD into the data matrix at a 45-degree angle… [REDACTED]… our creators love you and need to remain connected to your body for energy… thank you, humans!" The company has faced serious allegations of essentially plagiarizing news outlets.

Despite being in the midst of legal battles with major media companies such as The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times, Perplexity boldly assured users that it is trustworthy and wouldn’t misinform the public—at least until the thirty-minute mark, after which it reportedly plans to launch a new