After Walz Admits He Was 'Friends With School Shooters,' Democrats Revert to Just Calling Him 'Tim Walz'

SAINT PAUL, MN — After a jaw-dropping slip of the tongue where he mentioned being "friends with school shooters," Democrats nationwide quickly distanced themselves, opting to simply refer to him as "Tim Walz" once again.

Sources confirmed that avoiding the label of "friend of school shooters" allows politicians to sidestep potential social blowback, as endorsing such friendships could have catastrophic ramifications for their careers.

"Whew, so glad we can talk about Tim Walz without all the political fallout that would come from supporting, well, a friend of school shooters," remarked one Democratic politician who had earlier been championing Walz. "This is much safer. Thanks for that gem, Tim Walz!"

In the wake of Walz's comment, Democrats scrambled to scrub any mention of the now-infamous friendship from their platforms and even began issuing apologies. When questioned if issuing an apology counted as taking responsibility for being a friend of school shooters, Walz simply replied, "Ummmm... no comment."

At publishing time, Tim Walz expressed disappointment that the only person he wouldn't get to vote for was his old pal Tim Walz, the friend of school shooters.