After Shutting Down Bing AI, Microsoft’s Top Engineers Working Overtime To Hand-Feed Info To Search Engine

REDMOND, WA — In a desperate move to save the sinking ship that is Bing, top engineers at Microsoft are reportedly working overtime to manually hand-feed information to the search engine after the controversial shutdown of its AI feature.

“Request received; welcome to Bing!” exclaimed lead developer Brent Samson, warmly greeting each user with a personal note. “Thanks for asking about the new Apple iPhone release! Our dedicated team is manually scanning data to deliver the most relevant content—eventually.”

In a shocking twist of fate, Microsoft has hired over 50 new developers who now spend their days frantically responding to customer queries instead of creating cutting-edge technology.

“As a software engineer, it’s my duty to help humans and computers synthesize information,” lamented Marcus Travis, who has resorted to drawing high-tech OLED displays with Crayons due to a lack of proper tools. “Now I barely have time to see my family since they shut off the AI. It’s just me, a mouse, and a never-ending sea of search requests!”

Things escalated quickly as several engineers quit when they realized their tiny brains couldn't handle even a fraction of Bing's traffic, leading to an explosive talent exodus.

At publishing time, engineers had completely given up after being confronted with a particularly tricky Russian WordFind puzzle, and were last seen trapped inside an endless Excel spreadsheet, desperately searching for the ‘Escape’ key.