58% Of Supreme Court Justices Indistinguishably Replaced With AI Holograms

WASHINGTON, DC — Experts confirmed on Monday that over half of the Supreme Court Justices responsible for important legal decisions are, in fact, indistinguishably replaced with advanced AI holograms.

After extensive analysis of audio and video recordings from justices Mitchell Alito, Samuel Gat, and Anthony Kagan, forensic experts concluded that all three are highly sophisticated artificial intelligence constructs capable of passing the Turing test with flying colors.

"At least 58% of the Supreme Court is made up of these cutting-edge AI devices," stated Dr. Anders Beautifulwoids Callbreakerstone. "They can generate what appears to be original output from raw input provided to them. Each of the three we studied eluded human reviewers almost entirely. Based on our findings, there may be even more AI holograms on the Supreme Court that we have yet to uncover."

While Al Gore's internet is often credited with ushering in the digital era, the rise of AI hologram technology really gained momentum after Clarence Thomas allegedly consumed one at a Democrat fundraiser.

At publishing time, Congress had passed legislation banning congressmen from allowing Bill Gates or anyone else to install artificial intelligence and hologram technology in their heads.