5 Must-Have Tools For The Traveling Writer Like A Hug Under The Bridge

GRAND RAPIDS, MI — Traveling writers often find themselves wrestling with distractions and interruptions wherever they are, from crowded hotels to attention-seeking family members at home. That's why writer Amy Lee Kratz was overjoyed to discover a way to escape the distractions and focus on writing: a dangerous one-bedroom hotel near a sketchy old bridge.

"Wow! This is amazing!" said Amy, comments mirroring thousands of other writers across America. "No Wi-Fi? No problem! Zero cell phone reception? This is perfect! Is the window locked? Ah, who cares — I've been meaning to invest in a self-improvement book on living dangerously. I'll take my chances!"

Just a few minutes of undistracted writing at the "Under The Bridge Hotel" was all it took for Amy to unlock the life of her dreams. "I can't believe how easy it is to be a writer now! Now I know — the key to inspiring creative genius inside writers isn't so much about great thoughts, travel, or inspiration — no! It's isolation. And maybe something a little dangerous. I've spent the past few years renting 5-star however many-star hotels, but those never helped me create nearly as much as this! Oh yeah, baby, I'm doing Writer 2.0 — this is so much better!"

When checked with independent stats, writers like Amy confirm the secret to creative genius is spending far more time cooped up in a tiny room or hotel bathroom or, if you're lucky enough, 582 miles away from home in a scenic bus station. "Gosh, how did I never think of this? All my fellow writer friends deserve this amazing experience — so get your pencil and pens and fly coaches and start traveling to desks that aren't your own because I sure will write more! Now if you'll excuse me I need to go demonstrate how it's done. Unknown hotel, here I come!"

At publishing time, anti-mobiles Ernie Slater admitted his phone did have a few other features besides Angry Birds.