President Thanks Aliens For Celebrating American Independence Day By Getting All Blowed Up Over Washington

WASHINGTON D.C. — At the White House, President Biden addressed the nation, thanking our alien visitors for their ships with geeky stuff on the bottom that got all blowed up all over Washington D.C.

"My fellow Americans," President Biden began his speech after slowly making his way to the podium on the White House lawn. "Today is a day that humanity will forever remember — the day that aliens visited Earth and allowed us to see them get all blowed up over Washington D.C. It was cool because it wasn't fireworks, but actual blowed-up alien ships with geeky stuff on the bottom."

President Biden then appeared to stray from his teleprompter, "I can't believe it has been 27 years since I flew a jet fighter and fired a nuke into the alien's big gun hole and about 27 years since I gave the address to rally the troops by saying we would not go quietly into the night or vanish without a fight." Biden chuckled and continued, "A lot of people don't realize, but I actually got the idea for the big gun hole by looking at the geeky stuff on the bottom of the alien ships after they got blowed up."

Around the world people have been thanking the visiting aliens on social media with the hashtag #Thanks4GettingBlowedUpTheWholeWay which has reportedly given alien ships hovering over European nations second thoughts about firing their big gun holes.

At publishing time, humanity was eagerly anticipating watching 78% of the earth's surface get covered with the what President Joe Biden described as "real neato alien ship husks."