Kamala Harris Declares She Will Now "Make America Great Again" By Embracing Trump’s Policies and JD Vance’s Talking Points

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a shocking turn of events, Vice President Kamala Harris announced today that she will be copying all of Donald Trump’s and JD Vance’s politics in a bold move to “Make America Great Again,” leaving political pundits, supporters, and anyone with a functioning memory scratching their heads.

“I’ve had an epiphany,” Harris declared from a hastily assembled podium decorated with a suspiciously familiar red hat. “I realize now that the key to uniting America lies in embracing the very policies I’ve spent years vehemently opposing.”

Harris, who has previously been known for her progressive stances, revealed that she has completely reversed her views on immigration, trade, and tax cuts. “Walls work,” she stated with newfound conviction. “I mean, who knew? Apparently, borders are a thing, and we need them—big, beautiful borders!”

Sources close to Harris claim that her change of heart occurred after a late-night binge-watching session of Trump’s greatest rally moments. “She couldn’t stop watching,” said one anonymous aide. “It was like she was hypnotized by the chants of ‘Build That Wall’ and ‘Lock Her Up.’ She even tried to imitate his hand gestures, but we’re still working on that.”

In a further twist, Harris has also taken a keen interest in JD Vance’s political rhetoric, particularly his stances on family values and Rust Belt revitalization. “I’ve always been a big fan of small towns and coal miners,” Harris said with a straight face. “Ohio is basically my second home now.”

Critics are baffled by the Vice President’s newfound admiration for Trump and Vance. “I don’t know if this is satire or reality anymore,” said one confused political analyst. “It’s like AI wrote a script, and she’s just reading it verbatim.”

When asked how this new direction aligns with her previous platform, Harris was unfazed. “Look, it’s all about evolution,” she explained. “If Donald can go from a reality TV star to the White House, I can go from ‘de-fund the police’ to ‘back the blue’ in record time. Besides, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?”

Trump himself responded to the news with a mixture of bewilderment and glee. “I always said she’d come around,” he tweeted. “She’s finally seeing the light—Trumpism is the future! Maybe she’s smarter than we thought. Sad!”

JD Vance was equally surprised but more cautious. “I’m flattered, I guess,” he said. “But I’m not sure whether to send her a thank-you card or a cease-and-desist letter.”

As Harris prepares for her next rally in the heart of Trump country, there’s one question on everyone’s mind: Will she lead her supporters in chanting, “Make Kamala Great Again?” Only time will tell. For now, the Vice President is content to ride the MAGA wave—just don’t ask her to explain how this aligns with anything she’s ever said before.