BREAKING: Man Successfully Completes IKEA Furniture Without Once Glancing at Instructions, Promptly Nominated for Nobel Prize

Sweden— In what experts are calling a modern miracle, local man John Thompson has managed to assemble an entire IKEA "GLOOPSTRAD" wardrobe without once consulting the instructions. Witnesses say Thompson, 38, confidently glanced at the bewildering pile of flat-pack boards, screws, and Allen wrenches before announcing, "I've got this," much to the astonishment of his family.

As Thompson began assembling, his wife reportedly raised an eyebrow and suggested, "Maybe you should check the instructions, just in case," to which Thompson replied with a knowing smile, "Nah, I've put together enough IKEA furniture to know how this works." He then proceeded to hammer a few wooden pegs into what everyone assumed were the right holes and proudly attached two mismatched doors to the front of the wardrobe.

"I wasn't worried at all," said Thompson, moments before realizing he had skipped several crucial steps and built the wardrobe upside down. After a brief pause to reconsider, he chose not to disassemble his creation but instead spun the entire thing around, proclaiming, "It's supposed to look like that. It's a European design."

Thompson's feat of perseverance and misplaced confidence has not gone unnoticed. Rumors are swirling that he has been nominated for a Nobel Prize in Physics, or possibly Peace, depending on how his marriage fares after the incident. "We don't often see this level of stubbornness combined with a refusal to accept basic logic," said Nobel Committee spokesperson, Hans Bjornsson. "It's truly inspiring."

In a press conference, Thompson brushed off any notion of failure. "Look, instructions are for people who don't trust their instincts," he stated, leaning casually against his slightly wobbly masterpiece. "This wardrobe may be missing a few screws, but aren't we all? And yes, I did have a few leftover pieces, but I’m pretty sure those were just extras. They always give you extras."

Meanwhile, IKEA has reportedly reached out to Thompson, offering him a lifetime supply of Allen wrenches, which he graciously declined, stating, "I've already got 17 of those things in my junk drawer."

As the dust settled, Thompson's wife was last seen flipping through IKEA's return policy, while John has already moved on to his next project: converting a pile of "BLÖRKFLÖRN" pieces into what he believes will be "a pretty sturdy bookshelf—or maybe a coffee table. We’ll see what happens."